The Honest Reality

I cannot tell a lie. 

(Well I can but I won't.)

 

 

 

Unlike Pinocchio, oftentimes I find myself trying to maintain a healthy balance of being honest (honesty) and what is reality of certain matters. I've always been a blunt person in my speech (though learning to be more tactful and delicate when situation required) and have tried to maintain a sense of honesty in what I say. Recently I found myself getting frustrated when people would ask me something about how I felt/perceived something and then try to refute what I say with THEIR honesty or even speaking the reality of things as to seemingly negate what is my honest experience. So I'm going to try and hash this out.

hon·est  

/ˈänist/

Adjective

Free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere

 

Being honest is simply telling things as they are. It means to tell things as you see them and don't add to or take away anything so as to lead others to believe things a particular way. For example; when you go to the DMV and the clerk asks you to "read the smallest line possible". You look and see that there are five lines but the smallest that you can read is the third line and it says "A Y R S C V D L" and recite this to the clerk. This is precisely what you saw and you conveyed that information to her. You honestly believed that she wanted the smallest line that you could clearly read and that happened to be the 3rd line.

re·al·i·ty  

/rēˈalətē/

Noun

The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them

A thing that is actually experienced or seen, esp. when this is grim or problematic.

 

Reality is what truly is. Now taking from the above scenario, you went into the DMV and the clerk said  "read the smallest line possible" and  you see that there are five lines so you look at the fifth line and recite "J V R S A E D V" and you have missed 5 of the 8 letters. The reality is that the line she was asking for you to read was the smallest one that you could read correctly. But there is a conflict because you honestly thought that she wanted you to read the smallest line that was printed on the test. Does your honesty change the reality? No. Does the reality of it all change your honest statement? No.

Now I have NEVER had a problem at the DMV (we will discuss lies at a later date) so this blog is not about my experience at the DMV. My issue is that when someone asks me something and wants me to be honest, I will give you just that. I will give you my perspective in an honest and truthful fashion. It just might collide with the reality of a given topic or situation but it is still my honest vantage on said scenario. Likewise, my honesty cannot change the reality of things. So why is it so hard to just recognize that I'm giving what was asked for? 

Remember that honesty is subject to perception and perception can be based on one's previous experiences and the filters in which they process things though. Reality is not. So if you want reality, ask for reality (in which case you might not get any answer from me because if it's involving another human being or free thinking creature, I can't give you THEIR take on the scenario) but if you want honesty, I'll be honest. I just ask that you be prepared for my honesty to potentially not match your reality and when it doesn't, don't think reality will change my honesty. All it can do is change my perspective and in turn give me a NEW honesty to present to you because my experience has changed for me to filter a new honesty through but that will not invalidate my previous honesty. Hope this all makes sense. I mean after all, I'm just being honest in this life I've been given.