Stubborn Lilly Living

I have been told on numerous occasions "Thrive where you're planted" and originally, I thought "Well I guess that means that I'm stuck. This is where I have to be or else I won't grow." Then I woke up. I realized that I have legs. I have free will and unlike a seed who depends on mans' hands or natural forces like the wind to be redeposited elsewhere, I can choose my garden. 

What I have come to realize is that the lesson for me in that statement is that there are seasons and when that garden is no longer contributing to your growth, you need to move to the land where God has called you to be. See, I was hell bent on staying where I was because "I'm not a quitter." I also took the mindset of "I will not let anyone defeat me. Imma show them!!" Truth is, that once the season of growth in that area was done, staying there only beat me down more. Great things were beginning to happen for me and rather than seeing that as God calling me to the next season, I kept one foot in the old and was trying to stretch my other foot into the new. I had become unsteady and useless in any setting (old or new). Mentally, I was becoming unraveled. Spiritually, I was becoming worn to the point of questioning if I was "Christian enough." I thought to myself, "It is time to move on." Before making the final decision, I had to see "Is there something more for me to learn here?" I asked myself "Am I leaving like a bratty child who is not being given her way or am I leaving because the play date is truly over?" Well I hear my mom outside blowing the horn calling me to come out so we can go. I have to let go of the old things and know that whatever season I am getting ready to walk into, trials will continue to come. I recognize that my level of maturity has to increase to withstand the new season. 

The tough part of leaving from one season and going to the next for me is that I can't walk out of the house knowing that one of the kitchen cabinets is still open, let alone leaving a place and feeling like there was still work to be done. Leaving feeling like things that are not godly were still lingering and I wanted to stay there to fight it out and make it right is a struggle but apparently it's not my struggle. I have to walk away trusting the God will fix it in His time and His way. If He chooses to use me then I'll be available to move His way but if not, I must respect the process. Regardless of how it goes, I simply want to be the best that I can be in this life that I've been given.